how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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