yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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anti-joke.com

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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