What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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