a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm at my grandmothers house right now

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops