Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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