Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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what has genitial warts? me

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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The Oakland Raiders

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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