What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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69

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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