What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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