How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a blond girl walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

thumb_up thumb_down -20

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I am quite mature.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops