Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops