Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your Mum is soo fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops