How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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I had a submarine.... once

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops