How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

What is black and has no education A tire.

Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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