Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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