A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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