Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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