How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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