It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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