A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a banana? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops