Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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Pianos.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops