What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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Knock knock

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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