Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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