Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops