How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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