What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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pull my finger (farts)

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What? Yes.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops