A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Irish sobriety

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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I am dyslexic

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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What fires shots? A gun

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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