Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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