An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +16

( . Y . )

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

where do some birds live in? Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops