why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +24

SUCK MY NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops