A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Double-whammy

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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