Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +18

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock The doors already open

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops