What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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