Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

an emo girl walked into a white room

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

thumb_up thumb_down -19

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Eric is gay Ha

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops