What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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WNBA

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops