Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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