What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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haha

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops