Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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