What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock knock *open*

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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