guest what i love pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops