There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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