Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Equal rights!

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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whats small and sexually confused? YOu

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops