A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

yeyeyeyeye live action

thumb_up thumb_down -27

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops