what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

0 1 this is a sad sad world.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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