What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Black people having a Job.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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