This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why won't the carny let the black kid on the carnival ride? He doesn't meet the height requirements

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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