Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops