what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

whats small and sexually confused? YOu

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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