How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

Fox News

9/11 my birthday

What comes after 69? 70

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

A woman wears a dress.

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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