Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

Puns are terrible. I love them.

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

boner

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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