What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops