FUCK YOU

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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A Jew and a Nazi encountered each other on the street. They exchanged pleasant greetings and carried on in their desired directions.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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