An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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A bear and a furry bunny rabbit were in the woods. The bear ate the rabbit..

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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