I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Dislike this.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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